Purim

Well, I have been out of the picture for a while, I guess. Things happened, I guess and somehow or other, I was not posting! So, sorry for the disappearance. But I have been practicing Judaism. Basically living my life, I guess. I have a few stories for the week.

1. My boyfriend and I went to a Shabbat dinner at a friends' house.

2. Purim Party in the Mission

3. I met up with an ex-boyfriend from college, who is Lutheran and is now in Theological seminary, and had the joy of telling him I am converting. It went well.

Right now, I am going to write about number 2 on the list - Purim!

This was my first Purim, and the bar is high. Arriving, I wasn't quite sure if everyone would be wearing costumes during the reading or not, so I hedged my bets and had a costume that wasn't too crazy, but was at least funny enough to be different from my usual self. I was relieved, when we got to the place to see a man in bunny ears in line ahead of me. It seemed to say I had made the right choice.

we waited as the room filled up. And filled, and continued to fill. Some men got on stage and started to say blessings, but nothing could be heard above the din, except the occasional "brichu."

Finally, after what seemed like a longer time than I was expecting, the reading began. Our first reader was a woman I knew, but barely recognized, as she was dressed, very convincingly in a Wonder Woman outfit. Bare flesh exposed, breasts lofted high by a red and gold bustier, tight short-shorts, and wristbands, she had the whole thing going on. And in this costume, she swayed back and forth, confidently and lyrically singing out the Hebrew as if it were any other Sabbath morning service. She was brilliant. Gorrilla men, kings, and bunnies filled the room. Princess Leia, dancing girls, and many nondescript costumes held people listening, rapt, to the story of Queen Esther, Haman, and Mordecai.

We dutifully cheered at each mention of Haman's name, but I have to say, I felt a bit wrong about that. Sure he was almost certainly not a nice guy. But what did I have against him personally? And furthermore, what good does it do to boo and hiss, when he got what was coming to him - impaled on a stake, no less?

I am confused about this whole issue of Jews and "others" as a kind of "us against them" theme. I realize it is popular and recurring. But the Judaism that I have found, which I like, sees people as more of all one race. And the Jews are part of that race. Plus, as a convert, I see all people as potential Jews - of only they knew. But I'm not out to proselytize.

When I told my ex-boyfriend that I had gone to a Purim party, he said, is it one of those parties where the Jews celebrate by going around and bashing on other Jews? I was offended, on two counts. One, as I said to him, Do you really think people in San Francisco would be like that, and if they were, do you think I would hang out with them? (What I didn't tell him, but which is true, and made me laugh, is that my friends are the most mild-mannered, bookish people you will ever meet.) But I was offended in a way even to know that other Jews do that. Sure, it happens in the story. Instead of all the Jews in being killed, they go out and kill thousands of the descendants of Amalek. I fail to see how that is such a great victory. I should think that just celebrating the sparing of their lives would have been enough. But I guess in that day, with a more militaristic, survivalist mindset, maybe they had to do that in order to establish their social power. Nasty and mean. And also outdated. Obviously, we don't think that way anymore. Plus, it says in the reading that the prescribed observation for the holiday is feasting and merriment - not repeating the conquering of other tribes.

And that's the way I learned it - that to celebrate Purim includes a commandment to get drunk so that you can't even tell the difference between Haman and Mordecai. You stop knowing who is good and bad, and simply enjoy yourself and enjoy your life.

So the idea that Jews now, today, in Jerusalem, Brooklyn, or anywhere, would "celebrate" Purim by reenacting an out-moded tribal violence seems both incongruous and offensive. And not valid, in terms of my belief. If we are to love each other, we must recognize we are all full of mistakes and transgressions. As the Talmud says, "Even the transgressors in Israel are as full of good deeds as a pomegranate is of seeds" [Eruvin 19a].